Monday, July 26, 2010

Back from Vacation

Sorry for the break, folks. I took a wonderful trip home to visit the folks in West Tennessee. I'll be posting about home later since going home always recharges the creative batteries.

This week, however, I'll be preparing for a trip to Nationals, so we may be a little scarce on posts the next couple of weeks. Rest assured that Superwritermom will be back on duty at the beginning of August when the kiddies have to gear up for school.

Friday, July 16, 2010

A Word to the Wise...

It really does take a village to raise a child. Today's word to the wise features one of my extra mothers, Lynn. If only I could say with such cheer what she told us one day:

"Go on outside and play, girlies. I've got PMS, and people have killed for less."

I miss you, Lynn, and think of you often--at the very least once a month. The world could use more ladies with such an elegant mixture of grace and spunk.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Beulah Land Comes to Jesus

Here's the prologue to my current WIP:

Feel free to tell me what you think.

My name is Beulah Land, and I’m here to give my testimony.
Please forgive me if I seem a little nervous. I’ve never been a fan of standing in front of the congregation to confess your sins. Sure, I sat through countless testimonies as the daughter of a Baptist deacon, and I heard the words adultery, alcoholism, and fornication before I learned the difference between “near” and “far” from Sesame Street. It surprised me when Luke, of all people, wanted me to tell my story. He said that telling it might help others, and I want to help even if I can’t see how rehashing my mistakes could ever do that.
I suppose I could start my story on the day I was born, the day my parents saddled me with the name Beulah Land in reference to their favorite hymn. Or I could start with the fifties brick ranch where my father took his job as head of the household too seriously and where my mother ruled the roost by swatting at us with a burned up wooden spoon. I could start the story with my biggest mistake or my unlikely redemption, but I think the best place to start the story is where Luke walked in. We can pick up the rest as we go along.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Grammar moment

Every now and then I like to visit the classics from SchoolHouse Rock. Here's one of my favorites:

What are your favorite SchoolHouse Rock moments?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Paying for my raising?

Would someone please explain to me why my youngest child will not go play in her room with her toys? Better yet, please explain why I waste money on said toys?

Apparently, she would rather crawl under the dining room table and cry than go play.

Monday, July 12, 2010


So, last week I outed myself weightwise. Today I'm down to 151.5--just 7.5 pounds over what I need to weigh to be able to wear my professional clothes for Nationals. Here are some of my supposed keys to success although it'll be interesting to see how well these work now that I have the bulk of my trip weight off:

1. Whole foods. After reading Master Your Metabolism I am trying Jillian Michaels's suggestion to avoid processed foods and to eat organic whenever possible. I'm also avoiding artifical sweeteners.
2. Exercise. I've made it to the gym twice this week, ran once, and danced my little heart out to Wii's Just Dance.
3. Supplements. I'm taking my multivitamins, calcium, fish oil, and fiber again--the biggest change here was an increase in energy.

So, that's the plan for now. I'll be including more updates as Mondays roll along because I won't want to admit to all of you that I backslid!

Anybody have any helpful hints?

Friday, July 9, 2010

Why Her Majesty Wakes me Up...

It's five o' clock in the morning, and Lorelai is shrieking. As any good mother would do, I race down the hall and throw back the door.
"What's wrong, baby?"

She's sitting up, but I can only tell that by the shadow. Her little shoulders shake with sobs, "You pushed the elevator button."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Next time I'll let you push the button. Now, go back to--"

"No, the doors closed and you left me! You left me!"

"It was just a bad dream, now put your head on the pillow and dream of something nice like ice cream."


The door creaks as I close it, and I shake my head. Three months ago SHE was the one who jumped in the elevator and let the doors close on ME before I raced down three flights of stairs to catch her. So, who should be having the nightmare here?

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I just want to finish my coffee

That's it. Well, and on Sundays I want to finish reading the paper. I'm pretty sure the world will end if I ever make it all the way through a cup of coffee.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Ugly Truth

So I came back from Saint Louis weighing 155 pounds. At my leanest, I was a trim and healthy 124--but that was at 22. I hit 135 a few years ago, a comfortable size 6, so why did I let myself gain 20 pounds? And how am I going to fit into my professional clothing for Nationals?

These are my questions. At the moment I'm trying to eat almost all whole foods, so we may have a blog on that in a few weeks.

In the meantime, I'm going to blame my weight on stress. Based on everything I've read so far, I must be making a lot of cortisol and putting that fat on the belly. It's probably dreams like last night's one where I lost Lorelai at her Kindergarten orientation. Oh, wait. There's still time for that one to come true.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Monday Poem

Here's another poem I'm considering sending out there into the wild world. Comments and suggestions are welcome. And, yes, I know I need to move beyond the "considering."

First Failed Swim Lesson

Chlorine stings your nostrils
as you open the double doors.
The top of the water is motion in stillness
like wavy colonial glass.
You want to slip under the silk surface,
cold at first them warmer
as you wear it.
You want to glide aimlessly, effortlessly
or float on your back studying
stark naked rafters. You want
to be a child again—splashing,
cannonballing, dipping, and diving with ease.

But you are not a child.
You’re the mother of the one
who won’t put his head underwater even
as his peers splash and their parents snicker
because at the end of the night
they will go on and he will have to repeat
this level. You can’t swim for him
and you can’t convince him to trust you.
No, you are forced to watch
his apprehension and reluctance
to be where you yearn to be.

And if you know my pediatrician, please reassure her that, yes, we're going to keep trying swim lessons until we get it right.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Happy Fourth of July!

In honor of the holiday, I think we should review our American history with a little help from one of my favorite SchoolHouse Rock videos:

May you find glorious fireworks!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

A Word to the Wise...

Don't kid around about nudism on Facebook. If you do, a random stranger from New Hampshire will want to befriend you because he doesn't understand that you were simply frustrated by all of the laundry you had to do.