A Tale of Twenty Trash Cans

So, really there are only four, but here's a story that falls under the category of "stuff I can't make up--and I'm a writer."

I don't know about you, but I've been through about as many sanitation companies as mortgage companies. My business keeps getting sold to another company--whether I like it or not. Let's see if you can keep up. I started with Sanitech, and we had a lovely relationship for several years. Then they were bought out by Waste Industries, a company who doesn't like to answer their phones. Finally, I switched to Liberty because they would do recycling AND give a kickback to my son's school. I was quite pleased with them, only to have them bought out by American Disposal.

Then, one day, a gentleman from CycleWorks shows up and offers to give me the same service for $22 less. I said sure. Of course, then I had to go through the hassle of canceling with American. (In their defense, they were very nice on the phone.) Keep in mind that I have had these four trash cans on my front porch for a month now because I went to Hawaii and didn't have time to cancel one before the other started.

Here's where things get fun: on THE day I finally cancel American, yet ANOTHER sanitation person shows up on my doorstop. She shows up at suppertime, so picture me at the door still holding a head of romaine lettuce that I was in the process of washing. She looks at the four trash cans and then to me. "Uh, you seem to have a little trash problem here." I think she lit up with the possibility that I had some type of home business that created tons of trash. Maybe she could sell me a double contract!

Then SHE offers me a contract for even $10 less than CycleWorks. I took her card and thanked her, though, because I haven't even received a bill from my current company yet. Besides, her company? Waste Industries.

Apparently, Kilpatrick trash is such valuable trash that people are fighting over it. Some companies even miss it. Any hope I could get a few maid services to fight over cleaning my house?