Another 10 Ways to Know if You're a Bad Housekeeper...

Due to the popularity of the first ten--and that I could come up with examples of bad housekeeping until the end of time--here are another 10 ways to know you're a bad housekeeper. Leave a comment with your own example for a chance to score either a bottle of Mad Housewife or a Publix giftcard to buy one.

10. Your son announces, “I have a new way to get dust off the ceiling fan: bat balloons at it!”
9. Georgia Tech scientists have consulted you as an expert in their latest paper: Stages of Mold in the North Georgia Toilet.
8. Your children’s friends spend precious playtime to tug on your sleeve and inform you that your child really, really needs to clean his room.
7. A favorite family game is Find that Smell. (In all fairness, this one could generally be subtitled: Where did the baby hide the sippy cup of chocolate milk this time?)
6. When you finally do get around to cleaning the refrigerator, you find a casserole that you can’t remember making.
5. You’d rather be in your car.
4. You now know what mummified green beans look like.
3. Your children refer to your bathroom as “the hairy bathroom.”
2. Your son considers defrosting the outdoor freezer a recreational sport.
1. The Island of Sodor has invaded your living room and taken up permanent residence causing everyone passing through to step over bridges and accidentally kick Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends across the room. And they thought running out of that special gold dust stuff was a problem.

Not a Mad Housewife, Just Not a Good One...

Here are the top ten ways you know you're not a good housewife:

10. You children get excited when you fire up the vacuum because they don't see it that often.
9. Your family considers the pile of laundry on the couch as part of the overall decorating scheme.
8. There are stains on the carpet you can't explain and you can't remember how they got there. You just know they're not poop. You promise they are not poop.
7. Dust bunnies are congregating on the fringes of your hardwood floor. You think they are fomenting a rebellion.
6. It takes you a month to realize you've run out of Scrubbing Bubbles.
5. Your lovely aquarium hand soap bottles now feature fish in atomic sludge because you forgot and bought the orange hand soap instead of the clear hand soap.
4. The shower rod in your guest bathroom just fell for the third time because you are still using the "temporary" tension rod you bought at Big Lots ten years ago.
3. Your children have asked their grandparents to help them change out the burned out light bulbs in their bedroom light fixtures.
2. When you apologize to the bug guy for the state of your house, he says "Hey, I've seen worse" but he can't actually give you examples.
1. The more you clean up, the less you can find.

If you answered yes to more than four of these, I suggest we celebrate with a bottle of Mad Housewife and forget about being bad housewives. Salut!