Her Majesty and the Royal Wedding

So, I had no intention of watching the Royal Wedding.

Once upon a time, I was involuntarily roused at o'dark thirty to see the wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Di.  I also saw Andrew and Fergie's wedding.  In the interest of curtailing divorce among the Royals, I felt it would be best if I left William and Kate alone.  To tell you the truth, I had forgotten all about it.

Her Majesty requested one of her favorite programs, The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot about That, or as she likes to say, The Hat in the Cat.  I dutifully turned to PBS only to discover they were covering the Royal Wedding--I'm guessing it was a replay.  Her Majesty says, "What's that?"

"The Royal Wedding.  Do you want to go back to the Disney Channel?"

"No! I want The Hat in the Cat!"

I bite my tongue to keep from commenting on how that arrangement must be painful for the cat.  "Sweetie, they've pre-empted the cartoons to cover the Royal Wedding."

"But why?"

"Because there are a lot of people who want to see it."

"But why?"

"Know how we don't have kings and queens in the United States?"

"Uh-huh."

"Great Britain still has a king and a queen, and one of the princes is getting married.  People see it as a sort of fairy tale.  Kinda like watching Ariel's wedding to Prince Eric or Tiana's wedding to Prince Naveen."

"I'd rather see The Hat in the Cat."


"Your dissent is duly noted.  How about Little Einsteins instead?"

No answer.  Only an impressive royal pout.  Apparently, the only Royal Wedding that's going to matter to Her Majesty will be her own.