Monday, March 12, 2012

Adventures in Yoga, or Yet Another Underwear SNAFU

I keep trying yoga. I like the fact that very few people "master" the practice, rather it's an activity where one can constantly grow and stretch--both literally and figuratively. I love the way yoga cleanses the mind and challenges the body. I cling to the hope that yoga will one day make me stand up a little straighter and stretch a little farther.

At least this is the me I see in my head: a graceful woman, self-assured and poised on her mat.

Alas, I fear the reality is the bumbling butterball who's sweating like a sinner in church on Sunday. But, you know, that's the great thing about yoga. The instructor said today, "We're not giving away any medals today, so do what you can." Her words empowered me, and I made it through my very first hot yoga class with a smile on my face.

Then I got home.

I'm pretty sure God has an incredibly well developed sense of humor. I'm equally sure I shouldn't have written that post about avoiding sayings on your underwear. Here's the stupid thing I did today: I needed a pair of underwear that wouldn't show off my pantyline. Of course, I haven't finished laundry so I grab a new pair of Vicki's yoga underwear, consider the fact I should wash them first as the instructions suggest, shrug my shoulders and head to the bathroom to take the tags off. (Yes, there's more than one cautionary tale here.)

The panties are hot pink.

On the back they say "Hot Stuff."

I went to hot yoga.

I sweated so much that when I went to take a shower, I had a hot pink panty tattoo on my posterior from where the panties were NOT color fast. Do you hear me, world? Do as I say and not as I do: wash your clothes before you wear them and know with all certainty that, yes, you should wash your hot pink Vicki's panties in cold with like colors.

I imagine these sorts of things amuse God. Almost as much as the construction workers on the roof of the adjacent building were amused to look down and discover a room full of women doing yoga. They had to be even more amused to see the butterball in the back struggling to keep up.

Well, guess what? I live to entertain, so I'll keep getting healthy and you can keep chuckling. Even if hot yoga left a hot pink imprint from my "Hot Stuff" undies.

As a side note, I'm going to be writing about my adventures at Be Yoga on the Healthy Writer blog later this week. It was phenomenal. If you live in the Marietta area, this yoga studio is even better than what I imagined a good yoga studio would be. And, hey, if I can do it, anyone can--just wash your undies first. Oh, and no sayings.


  1. Regular yoga makes me sweat, so I imagine hot yoga (as in Bikram, right?) is sheer torture. I'm waiting to get the go-ahead to resume my exercising. I'm actually missing it!

    1. I do not know what it's called. Downward facing dog and the warrior pose were included so I could somewhat follow along. Essentially, they jacked up the heaters so it was a sauna in there. Such a thorough workout though. I think I loved it almost as much as the chai latte I had before...

  2. What is the purpose of cranking the heat? I've been known to pass out in sauna-like situations. Why would one choose to start summer early, indoors, and while downward-dogging it? There must be a philosophy behind it that I'm not seeing.

    1. I'm not really sure because I'm one of those crazy people who will just go try things. I *think* that the heat is supposed to help with preventing injuries or to help deepen the stretches? I want to say there's also someone out there who says that sweating it all out helps get rid of toxins, too. OR I could be making this all up because there are a bunch of people saying a bunch of stuff and only about 25% of them have a clue. I'm just being honest about my lack thereof.

      Anyhoo, it felt remarkably good, although I think I need to drink a fluid with electrolytes afterward next time. Today I had regular ol' water.

    2. Amen to the electrolytes. I used to sweat so bad during Ride class @ Gold's, and plain water didn't cut it. I'd have a massive headache all day long if I didn't drink a sports drink. I used to keep those single-serve Gatorade powder packets in my little gym bag. Same thing with Boot Camp.

      I've heard the same thing about "sweating out toxins" now that you mention it, and heat is certainly better for stretching muscles. OK. Question answered.

      P.S. The "butt tattoo" thing was really funny! At first I was guessting you might have had lighter colored pants and you sweat so bad that there was a "wet t-shirt" effect and everyone could read your hiney. I NEVER would have guessed the tattoo thing!

    3. No. It looked as though I'd spray-painted my underwear on. I would've taken a picture, but, well, you know...

  3. LOL! ROFLMYA! I don't know what else to say. At least they didn't bleed through to the outside of the yoga pants. ;)

    I'm working on yoga, myself. I'm going to my 4th class tomorrow. I thought I'd try it, then try Pilates to see what the differences are. So far I like Yoga enough that I haven't felt the desire to go to Pilates yet. Yet. I'm sure something will step in to pull the rose colored lenses out of my glasses. Probably be that time when I split the seems during downward facing dog. :) :) :)

    Of course it could be when I get stuck in wheel position. I guess that would mean I'd have to actually get up into wheel position... *sigh* Maybe tomorrow.

    Keep up the great work.