Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Missive to Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I know that I'm on the verge of being a "woman of a certain age," and in light of that fact we need to have a little chat.  I understand that I'm going to have an accordion fan of tiny wrinkles around my eyes, especially when squinting into the sunlight or laughing.  I understand that I have deep lines etched into my brow and battle scars criss-crossing my belly--my kids put them there, and I wouldn't change those.  I understand that sitting Indian style isn't my forte and that it's completely normal to have one stop at the top of my quad that's given up on the concept of flexibility.

But, Mother Nature, what is up with the acne?  Does it not seem cruel to you to sprinkle me with acne even as you line me with wrinkles?  Seriously, I did my time back in my teenage years.  I'd love to be able to say, "Well, at least I don't have to worry about zits any more."  Is that really too much to ask?



  1. Aaahh Sally, Sally,Sally...
    Mother Nature has asked me to reply to your whin...er, complaint.
    Sally, your acne simply is an act of hormonal showing off. How many women of "a certain age"--as you sweetly call it-- would give the straggly little hairs on their chinny-chin-chins for a zit or two. Or that new marionette seam, or the silver at the temples, or the funny brown spot, or ....
    My dear, just be happy your hormones are still happily dancing around in your bloodstream like teenagers. Because the day you find yourself reaching for the rejuvenating serum and the Poise pads instead of the Clearisil, you will pay your daughter for a tenth of the collagen and estrogen and metabolism that she possesses.
    Now, go slap some milk o'magnesia on that zit!

  2. OMW, you mean I'm not the only one? I'm glad someone shares in my misery. LOL
    You look fantastic!! Why are you complaining about aging when you're only in your 20's?
    @Pamela, you crack me up!

  3. Oh, Milk of Magnesia... I must try this. Pam, we're not talking a few stray zits here. We're talking a plethora of red spots on my neck, chest, and back. A few on the face, but mostly just under the jawline. Painful buggers.

    But I will stop complaining...for now...just for you.

    Ciara, you are not alone. You are, however, my new best friend for thinking I am still in my 20s. : )