Dear Mother Nature,
I know that I'm on the verge of being a "woman of a certain age," and in light of that fact we need to have a little chat. I understand that I'm going to have an accordion fan of tiny wrinkles around my eyes, especially when squinting into the sunlight or laughing. I understand that I have deep lines etched into my brow and battle scars criss-crossing my belly--my kids put them there, and I wouldn't change those. I understand that sitting Indian style isn't my forte and that it's completely normal to have one stop at the top of my quad that's given up on the concept of flexibility.
But, Mother Nature, what is up with the acne? Does it not seem cruel to you to sprinkle me with acne even as you line me with wrinkles? Seriously, I did my time back in my teenage years. I'd love to be able to say, "Well, at least I don't have to worry about zits any more." Is that really too much to ask?