Monday, June 21, 2010

Another 10 Ways to Know if You're a Bad Housekeeper...

Due to the popularity of the first ten--and that I could come up with examples of bad housekeeping until the end of time--here are another 10 ways to know you're a bad housekeeper. Leave a comment with your own example for a chance to score either a bottle of Mad Housewife or a Publix giftcard to buy one.

10. Your son announces, “I have a new way to get dust off the ceiling fan: bat balloons at it!”
9. Georgia Tech scientists have consulted you as an expert in their latest paper: Stages of Mold in the North Georgia Toilet.
8. Your children’s friends spend precious playtime to tug on your sleeve and inform you that your child really, really needs to clean his room.
7. A favorite family game is Find that Smell. (In all fairness, this one could generally be subtitled: Where did the baby hide the sippy cup of chocolate milk this time?)
6. When you finally do get around to cleaning the refrigerator, you find a casserole that you can’t remember making.
5. You’d rather be in your car.
4. You now know what mummified green beans look like.
3. Your children refer to your bathroom as “the hairy bathroom.”
2. Your son considers defrosting the outdoor freezer a recreational sport.
1. The Island of Sodor has invaded your living room and taken up permanent residence causing everyone passing through to step over bridges and accidentally kick Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends across the room. And they thought running out of that special gold dust stuff was a problem.


  1. #7: sippy cup??? Yeah, right!

    It's funny how dirt matures with the kids. No longer is Thomas & friends populating the living room with all their charming smiling faces and bright colors. Now it's Wii & PS3 controllers, DS's, Ipods, and any other form of electronica. Except of course, cell phones, which are stored in cargo pockets when not in use. Outgrown clothing is discarded to the closet, because clothes that 'fit' (a term I use loosely;pants are supposed to sag!) are on the floor, on the desk, on the back of the chair, on the chest...yes, 'on', not 'in'. Easier to find when they're out in the open.
    And if we're short on plates, forks, glasses, any dining utensils ... they're neatly cornered in the hall, awaiting room service (that would be me) pick up.
    And change is everywhere! Two leprechauns regularly drop their pots at my house,
    BUT try to pick up the coins,and somehow those little guys know EXACTLY how much money is missing.
    I reallllly miss the Toy Story days.

  2. Ah, it's a leprechaun that's leaving all that change! I've been wondering where it was coming from. I agree that the Island of Sodor isn't a problem. Unfortunately, I have the PS3 controllers, Wii controllers, and assorted electronica around here, too.

  3. Thanks for the balloon tip and #8 brings on a sense of deja vu -- I remember a similar incident several years ago.

  4. Hi, Mom, uh, I mean anonymous...I'll bring kids to help with fans, you supply the balloons. And, hey. my room is actually clean. For once.

  5. This is more about clutter than clean but my hubsand gave me a Sony Reader Daily Edition for Christmas so he wouldn't trip over stacks of books that I leave all over the house anymore.

  6. But Robin, I'm not sure a house is a home without stacks of books to step around. ; )

  7. How do I know I'm a bad housekeeper?
    1) The cats chase dust bunnies across the kitchen floor as their primary form of entertainment.

    2) My son actually uses HIS little broom to sweep said kitchen floor after the cats demolish the dust bunnies while telling me "Mommy, I don't think my broom is big enough for this."

    However, in my defense, we live in the middle of BFE and have lots of outside critters that need tending. Every time we come in from the yard, a little bit of the yard comes in with us. Errr...did that sound convincing?

  8. Very convincing. You forgot to mention the part where you have a newborn. We don't want to talk about my house with a newborn. Bad things, man. Very bad things.

    And further proof that Mason and Lorelai are made for each other since she's spent most of today trying to convince me to let her use the Wet Swiffer even though I don't have any of the pad thingies and even though one must typically be able to see the floor before mopping it.

  9. Oh, too funny! I used to make these lists when my kids were small enough to lose in the laundry piles.

  10. Omigosh...Mason LOVES a Swiffer! He drags out the one at his Aunt Judy's house every time we go over there. Perhaps we should make dates at each others homes, buy Swiffer pads, and turn both of them loose at once.

  11. Do you have the WetJet or just the regular Swiffer that you can put the wet pads on? If it's the latter, you can use dryer sheets in place of the dry cloths! Please don't ask how I

    I've been known to doctor my husband's old ratty socks to fit the WetJet when I'm out of pads (which is pretty often). Woo! Three cheers for Redneck Engineering!

  12. Sounds like you have a blog title all your own, Jennifer, although I usually refer to such things as Redneck ingenuity. : )