Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Killjoy of Motherhood

You know, motherhood sucks the joy out of some things. Here are five things that are no longer fun:

5. Play-Doh. I don't like picking up little pieces of Play-Doh off the floor. And Silly Putty has been permanently banned from this house thanks to the damage it can do.
4. Water rides. I can't entirely explain this one, but I think it has something to due with adulthood's increased likelihood of chafing.
3. Chewing gum. It gets into hair, the carpet of the car floorboard, ends up in stomachs. Being a teacher didn't help my disdain for gum--my apologies to everyone who's had to suffer my coffee breath due to my chewing gum embargo.
2. Markers. Oh, how I loved markers. I would use markers until they were completely out of ink. Now, I cringe at the sight of them because it usually means Lorelai has found the stash and decorated herself a la Goldie Hawn on Laugh-In.
1. Swimming. Okay, so this one is really the killjoy of womanhood. Swimming was so much more fun when it involved putting on a bathing suit and heading out the door. I don't even mind collecting the towels and accouterments, but I HATE, HATE the landscaping required. I hate that more than the thought of all my extra pounds showing.

So, what about you? What has motherhood taken the joy out of? Kool-Aid? Water balloons? Frog catching?


  1. Bubble baths. I haven't had a nice bubble bath in many moons. Wanna know why? I can't get the bathroom to myself for long enough. Or, on the rare occasion that I manage to lock everyone out, I'll hear "Mooooommmyyyyy, are you dooooooone yet???!" Yeah. I'm pretty much done now. Thanks.

  2. Good one. I can't even finish a pastry with my coffee so I haven't tried the bubble bath thing in forever.

  3. Ok, the above is me (Jennifer). Blogger SO does not like me for some reason--I can't get my pic loaded right, it keeps eating my info...why don't we go ahead and add "computer time" to the list while we're at it, as well.

  4. I knew it was you. I don't remember having trouble with my photo, but I did it a long time ago. I was having trouble with a YouTube video the other day.

    Good luck!

  5. Going to the bathroom. I used to go alone, handle my business, and leave without much thought. I haven't made water alone in 6 years. Even when I sneak away they know when I'm heading for the can and all three monsters come stand in the doorway, knocking and asking to come in. Really? Killjoy.

  6. Nicki, I had totally forgotten what it was even like to go potty by myself! How odd is that? The one time the kids are nowhere near? When you need toilet tissue. Then, they can't be found.

  7. What, did the "Redneck" part give it away??

    I suppose we shouldn't even bring up that three-lettered "s" word thing that small children have a knack for interrupting. I'm amazed that Mason's brother was ever able to be conceived.